Rain

Yamapi one-shot. Girl's PoV. (:
Song --> Bokura wa Hero - KIRORO

I'm sorry but I guess we should walk our own way. We shouldn't meet in the middle of the road.

My eyes flew open. I did not want to dream of that again, but the same dream never failed to haunt me. It's over; it's been almost a month since we broke up. But we always could not avoid each other. That was because we came from the same clique of friends. In out high school, we had a group of ten friends in our class. I was part of them. So was he. When we were together, we kept it from the rest of our friends because we decided it wasn't time yet -- the right time never came. And so when we broke up, nobody knew. Nobody understood the sudden awkward tension between is.

We used to be really close friends, but gradually we had developed feelings for each other. I still remember that rainy day in Osaka, when our class went on a fieldtrip last year. I had burst out from the hotel we were in, into the rain, crying. At that time, he had seen me run into the rain, chased me, and embraced me, trying his best to use his height to shield me from the rain.

I got out of bed. I wonder what made him tell me we should break off. And well, I had agreed to it. It had been mutual, so why was I feeling so horrible about it?

Half the day went by as usual. I thought I saw him glance over at me during lessons, but I guess I was just thinking too much. I didn't look in his direction at all, even if I wanted to, because I was too proud -- I didn't want to give in to the fact that I still felt the same way for him. I could only watch his back when he went over to talk to our fellow classmates. He's not affected by the break-off at all. I was agitated at that. So I was the only idiot suffering the aftermath of it.

"Oi, Tomohisa, over here!" Hiro-kun called out, waving to him. I didn't dare to call him Tomo-chan now. So, to avoid have to do it, I mostly avoided conversation with him. I wanted to stay best friends with him but I couldn't.

We were in the cafeteria. I looked towards him, and behind him suddenly appeared Rin-chan. And... he was pulling Rin-chan towards the group. Rin-chan was also within our circle. She was a cute girl with big, bright eyes, and her height went no further than 155cm. When I saw that sight, I was jealous, and immediately my grip on my can of drink tightened, causing a loud crack to go off from the aluminum bending. He more than got over it huh?

"Hm? Junko-chan, are you okay?" Youko asked me, putting a hand on my fingers.

"Eh? I'm alright. You know I tend to grip things too hard sometimes." I lied, laughing nervously.

"Remember the chalks you broke because Iwao-sensei insulted Tomohisa??" Ken-chan brought up. Everybody laughed, but I could only smile. Things couldn't go back to the past.

Tomo-chan finally reached our table.

"Holding hands already! Hey you two never told us!" Yuki-chan teased. Rin-chan was blushing with embarrassment.

I was more than furious at that. To prevent totally crushing my can, I put my hands under the table, clenching them until my knuckles grew white. I, unfortunately, had a very silent violent tendency. Nobody knew it. Except him. He never made our relationship known to them. I know, we agreed mutually that they should not know, but in my fury I could not reason out the situation.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him buying a drink for Rin-chan. Rin-chan had a teddy in her hands. It was obviously from Tomo-chan. The rest of the clique crowded round her with questions, and silently without notice, I left. Nobody noticed that I was gone. I doubt he noticed either.

I went all the way upstairs to the library, randomly picking up a book to read. But behind that huge book I was crying. I had to keep making myself believe it'll be over next week. This ritual went on for so many weeks, but the week where I would recover never came.

A while later, I closed the book, drying my tears, but as I started to slot the book back into place, was alarmed to find my keitai on the shelf. I had left it in the cafeteria? There was a new message.

I saw your keitai on the table. You were so engrossed in that book, I decided to just leave your keitai on the shelf. -Yamashita-kun.
--> message sent by: Tomo-chan.

Why did he have to sign off after his message? And to end off with 'Yamashita-kun'. How distant. He had been on the other side of the bookshelf but I never noticed.

I totally avoided his eyes after that, and never even spoke one word to him. Before, we at least acknowledged each other's presence and had some superficial conversation if we had to, but now I completely shunned all that. But would it have made a difference?

There was another new text message.

Hey Junko-chan, Tomo told us you were doing a last minute assignment in the library. Just to inform you, we're meeting at Rin-chan's house to celebrate her birthday. Tomorrow at 6pm. Don't be late yo~
-->message sent by: Youko.

I was thinking up of an excuse not to go, but no way would they believe me. I wonder what Tomo-chan would do for her? My last birthday... After the group celebrated it for me, Tomo-chan had got me out of the house and brought me to the seaside in the middle of the night. He had insisted that we watched the sunrise together.

"Yadda, let me sleep a while more.." I muttered, brushing his hand away.

"Junko-chan, wake up, if not you'll miss it." He coaxed softly.

I opened my eyes slowly, to see him watching over me. "Is your back aching from being in that position?" I asked suddenly, getting up.

"Nope, not at all! Tomo-chan loves sleeping by the sea!"

We were just in time to watch the sunrise.

By the time the scene finished playing in my mind, we were back in class. Iwao-sensei had an urgent meeting to attend to, so she left us to do an assignment in class.

"Ano..." I didn't turn my head. Once in a million years he was speaking to me? "Ishida-san, do you have an extra pen?" I only looked to my own paper to do my assignment. I completely ignored his request and gave him the cold shoulder. He had nothing else to say, but having been his best friend before, I could tell inside he was quite frustrated at my reaction. He turned to Ken-chan.

It was spring-cleaning week that week, too, and that day me, Enomoto-kun, Matsuda-san and Tomo-chan were on duty after school. Usually, Tomo-chan and I were the slower workers, because we would skive and go grab a sandwich before proceeding to do our job. I was in charge of sweeping the floor this time, and Tomo-chan, cleaning the windows. The other two students left earlier. We did not have any conversation while we did our jobs, and we kept as far a distance as possible.

I finished my job. I left. I did not help him at all. In the past, yes, if I finished earlier, I'd go over and help him, but now I completely abandoned him in the classroom. Unfortunately it seems to hurt only more if I ignored him. It wasn't making me forget him.

That day passed. The next day went no differently at school, until after school. "Junko-chan?" he called, after everyone had left. I had fallen asleep on my desk.

"Nani, Yamashita-kun?" I asked on purpose.

He left. I stared after him. He was agitated again. I know I was being too cold. But when I am angry at someone, I don't know how to see things from the other person's side. Even if I could, I didn't want to lose out.

Evening came. Everyone was at Rin-chan's house in no time.

"Rin-chan, otanjoubi omedetou!" I congratulated as cheerfully as possible. "Ano.. Hope you'll have many memories on your journey with Tomo-chan!" I didn't want to say that, but what else could I say? I was quite genki outside, but inside I was violently frustrated. It is a very terrible situation to be in.

In a flash, I was back home again. I wondered if it would be better if I tried to study now, and forget everything else. It was raining outside again. It wasn't a storm but it was a soft rain. I couldn't look at my study desk at all. I picked my keitai up instead. To my own surprise, I dialed his number. I had no inkling why I did that. Was it because I wanted to see if he was having fun with Rin-chan ALONE now? I wanted to crush my keitai. But he picked up the phone and I was at a complete loss.]

"Hai, moshi moshi..." I could hear the sound of the sea from the other end. Was he bringing her to the seaside? It didn't seem to be raining there. There was a girl laughing at the other end, too.

"Mitai na~" That's what I heard. I couldn't make out if it was Rin-chan, but who else would bring his girlfriend to the seaside in the middle of the night?

I hung up immediately. More than ever, I could not face the study desk now. I left my keitai on the bed, going out of the apartment. Otou-san and okaa-san were asleep. My younger sister was out on her school's fieldtrip. The lift travelled down. And in no time I was downstairs.

Very slowly, I stepped out into the light rain, feeling the raindrops fall onto me. The other time, it had been almost a storm, but now it was unusually peaceful. I hated the fact that the seaside is not a precious secret hideout for him and me anymore. He had shared it with someone else. I put my arms behind, strolling in the rain on the empty streets, watching my pink shirt slowly start to plaster a little on my legs from the rain. Occasionally, one or two passersby looked at me in surprise as they sheltered themselves with their umbrellas or suitcases. It felt good. It wasn't storming. It was just a cooling rain. So what if I got sick the next day?

I turned back when I realised I was reaching the main road. It had been half an hour since I started walking in the rain. At least, according to my watch. But it had stopped moving after having water contact it. I had no idea if I felt better now. Tomorrow will be alright, I assured myself. I don't have to go to the seaside. I won't think of it...

And as I lifted my head, I saw him standing along the street with a pink umbrella. The one I bought for him just to tease him about his bright pink shirt last year. I stopped in my tracks, not knowing what to do. We stood there, some distance between us, looking into each other's eyes. I broke my gaze away from him suddenly. It was horrible. Tomorrow wasn't going to be okay after all. I don't know how long we stayed like that.

"...weren't you at the seaside with Rin-chan?" I asked suddenly. I was shivering a little, in agitation and in coldness. "Ne, Yamashita-kun? You left her by the sea alone?"

He moved towards me slowly and shielded me from the rain, noticing my shivering. He didn't answer my questions. "Well? Don't you have anything to say? Just coming here to see how pathetic I look in the rain?" I asked harshly.

"...baka." he suddenly said quietly.

I suddenly pushed the umbrella away from his hands, and I saw him caught in the rain too. I was so angry, I wasn't even hurt that I had let someone I love catch a cold like that. The umbrella lay forgotten by the side of the street.

"So what if I'm a baka?!" I shouted. He said nothing again, and let the rain wash over him. I watched the droplets hang on to the ends of his hair, and he did not move at all. I didn't want to cry, but if I continued looking into his eyes, I would. But what else could I do?

"...I didn't bring Rin-chan to the seaside. Why should you think I did? Why do you think I went there?"

I had no answer. It was my turn to be silent. The rain came down harder. So hard that it hurt to feel the raindrops on my shoulders. He came closer, and did what he did in Osaka. We forgot the umbrella by our side.

"I'm not with Rin-chan. Baka Junko-chan, that was an act."

"Why are you doing this right now when you initiated the break-up?"

"If you don't know, then I ask you again, why do you think I went to the seaside?"

"But you..."

"Don't ask anymore."

I put my arms around him slowly, and could feel him shivering so much, that I felt guilty for pushing the umbrella away. I wanted to pull away to take back the umbrella, but he held me back. "There's no need for the umbrella. I want to feel you again." It was a harsh condition in the rain, but it didn't matter. "If I have to meet you in the middle of the road, I will."